I don't even know what to say... she is failing. She can not longer swallow and has begun what is referred to as the death gurgle. When you have saliva or fluid that is stuck in your throat and you cannot clear it it means you cannot or cannot almost swallow. She can no longer lift her limbs and seems barely able to hold her eyes open. This is all part of the process of dying... I know what I have read in Final Gifts, Final Journey's, and many other Final books I have devoured.
They told us it could be tonight but not likely. Her temperature came down from 100, her hands look beautiful and are not swollen at all nor are her feet. I gave her a gorgeous manicure sans polish today then rubbed lotion on her hands. I could tell she loved it. Since she was so warm the Doc said that the fever actually "ate up" the edema in her hands. Funny how the body works, pretty damn amazing actually. Her breathing worries me, yes the sound, but also the depths of it.
I had to come home this evening. The 2 times I have stayed there I have been a mess the next day (exhausted and napping all day). I will be there tomorrow morning and hopefully things will be okay.
Prayers for the Dying:
Overcoming the Fear
Are you intimidated to offer prayers for the dying? Death is close at hand and you are there to bring comfort. Can you do it? Do you know how? The very fear you have and the grief you feel is also in the heart and mind of the one who is facing death. Don’t fight that, but embrace it and share it. Jesus said in the Sermon on the Mount in Matthew 5:4, “Blessed are those who mourn for they will be comforted.” As you mourn with someone who is dying or with someone who’s experiencing the death of someone close to them -- you give them comfort, you uplift, you are blessed because you are blessing someone else, and you too will experience comfort.
That is all for now--I have no doubt that all of us here give me great comfort and I hope each other too.
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1 comment:
Dear Jen,
I rarely post a comment, but I continue to pray and send light to you all. I know how hard it is to say goodbye to someone we love. I remember when my mother was dying, how I excited I was each time she took a sip of water or moved her lips. I knew that she would be so much better off if she could be free of her body, but I just wanted more time with her, so I kept hoping she would stay a bit longer. It's incredibly awful watching someone we love fade away and leave us. I so wish it was easier. And I wish I could find the words to encourage you through this difficult time. I feel sure I'm not the only one who wants to write a supportive post, but just can't find the words. Just know that you are in my thoughts and heart, and that I'll continue to send prayer, light and love.
Jo at AMC
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