Update

Mom (Ethel's) decline in the last month, even the last 10 days has been significant. Her cancer is progressing much faster than anyone anticipated. After meeting with our Hospice team and Drs we now know that her time with us is likely coming to an end very soon. I never thought I could write much less say that this is the case. She is tired and she is ready to go on her next journey and wherever that will take her.

For anyone who is reading this know that I am sure she touched each of you in the special way that she has with people. Mom (Ethel) is a person that I feel lucky to call my Mom. She is so much to so many but what is so 'unique' about her is that she has such a kind and generous heart. She has a hopeful heart.

Our family appreciates all your kind wishes and thoughts at this time... the sun shines through Mom's windows each day with the promise of a new day. I hope that God gives her the peace and comfort she is hoping to find. Please keep our family in your thoughts and prayers.

Ups & Downs

The last few days have been full of challenges. Hard transition... sad place... sad situation... but I think hope may have turned a corner today. Mom was more alert and with it than she has been since she entered Hospice. She has been sleeping almost since she arrived and very dosed up from the meds. They are working on her meds and they seem to be getting a better handle on the pain. Other health challenges involve things that are better left unsaid. She does like her fancy and very comfy bed.

Mom has a beautiful plant with gorgeous yellow flowers sitting on the window next to her bed. She actually can keep the flowers and not have to give them away. Mom and Jim always have to give away flowers as the cats will eat them (go figure).

Suffice that today I felt better saying goodnight than I have since my dear Mom went to the Hospice facility. I don't know what the future holds and it will likely be the hardest thing I will ever deal with thus far in my life -- but tonight I have a hopeful heart -- and that means something.

A Big Day...

Today was a very big day... 4 Hospice people came over to Mom and Jim's house and after much consideration with the Drs, nursing staff, etc, it was decided to move Mom to a temporary Hospice facility in Falls Church/Arlington area. This is only temporary and the purpose is to monitor her pain and try to control it. They will have the Drs and nurses working with her and watching her diet and all that she is doing, reviewing all her medications, and hopefully find something to STOP her pain. She will be there for approx 4-6 days.

The ambulance came to pick Mom up about 4:30 and they took her down the stairs in a mobile chair then put her on the stretcher and took her away. I spoke to the attending nurse this evening and she was sleeping. Prior to her leaving she did not want to talk to any family members and she was so uncomfortable she just wanted to be left alone. This is not like my Mom. We have always been a very affectionate family... this gives you an idea of how uncomfortable she was this afternoon. It was very hard to see her leave even though I know she will be coming home again.

Please continue to keep Mom and our family in your thoughts and prayers. Thank you to everyone for all the kindness you have shown our family and continue to help in so many ways.
Hugs,
Jen

Why Do Bad Things Happen to Good People?

This is a question I have really been struggling with in relation to my Mom getting pancreatic cancer (PC). I have also struggled with why God lets such bad things happen to such good people. I have read Harold Kushner’s book on the subject but I think an email that I recently saw on the Johns Hopkins Pancreatic Cancer List serv http://pathology.jhu.edu/pancreas_chat much better conveys what has helped me to personally answer this question.

This begins the answer from an anonymous poster from the Hopkins list serv:
Because God does not concern himself/herself with what goes on here on earth he does not control the good and the bad things that go on. If we are indeed immortal souls, and are here to learn, grow, or experience Who We Are, then what happens here is pretty much a temporary thing.

And, if we are truly immortal, then what happens here is much like a child skinning their knee. Yes, it hurts, but like any parent, God would pat us on the head, kiss us on the check, then tell you to get up and go on….

And, like any child, we would wipe away our tears, put on a smile, and go do it again… This life and the lives before and after could be nothing more than us experiencing ourselves learning, loving, laughing, and yes, crying, and hurting. But is it not all temporary? Instead of looking to God to lead you in everything, consider thinking of yourself as part of God, and in that, need nothing, as you already have all you need. You simply need to look inward to find it – or anywhere that knowledge may happen to be for you.

Live in the moment, let death be whatever death is, and enjoy the moment of life you have. Worry about the afterlife when you get there, experience Who You Are right now. Death and the afterlife can take care of themselves in due time.

Be you Muslim, Christian, Buddhist, whatever… we are all part of something, else, whatever you conceive that to be.

Time...

Things are hard these days... Mom is in a lot of pain. Nothing seems to help much. She does appreciate the cards that people send and the memory book that her friends put together. I always read the cards and letters to Mom (Ethel) and they make her smile. She is tired but is trying to put up a good fight.

This is a very hard time for our family. Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers.

Where there is life there is hope...

Take good care--
Jennifer