Dec 30, 2008, Washington Post, page B5

Ethel Beun, 72; Shop Owner Rescued Cats - http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2008/12/29/AR2008122902328.html

In the upcoming Sunday, January 4, issue of the the Washington Post, Metro Section, page B5 there will be a longer article on Mom (Ethel) in the section titled "A Local Life." Ironically, January 4, was the date 3 years ago that Mom had her whipple surgery and her life and that of her family was forever changed. January 4, was also my Father's birthday. He would have been 73.

Dec 4, Alexandria Gazette Packet Article on Mom (Ethel)

Unique Champion for Cats
Founder of King Street Cats & Unique Shop Dies of pancreatic cancer.
http://www.connectionnewspapers.com/article.asp?article=323070&paper=59&cat=104

Celebration of Life Service for Ethel Beun & my Speech for Mom

Ethel Beun's Celebration of Life Service was held on
Saturday, December 13, at 1:00 pm at the Arlington Metaphysical Chapel.

The family would like to thank all those at the Chapel, choir, and readers that all made the service so special in particular Rev. Reed Brown. Additional thanks to Ronnie who hosted the reception at her home.

Donations
If you would like to make a donation, you can do so to one of the following charities in Ethel's name to (1) King Street Cats, 213 King St, Alexandria, VA 22314, http://www.kingstreetcats.org/ , or to PanCan (Pancreatic Cancer group) at http://www.pancan.org/

Thank you,
Jennifer at whippetdogs@yahoo.com

This is the speech I made at my Mom's Celebration of Life -- I love you Mom...

For Mom’s Celebration of Life
************************************************

We don’t remember days, we remember moments.
I want to share some things that my Mother, Ethel, loved in life…

* She loved Black licorice
* She collected cobalt blue glass and blue was her favorite color
* She loved Maxfield Parish
* She loved Cherubs and angels and believed in the magic they bring to the world
* She Loved animals and taught my brother and I all the joy they would bring to our lives
* She loved pistachio pudding
* She made the best boxed Macaroni & cheese in the world
* She always made my brother and I homemade Halloween costumes
* In her single days she used to throw crazy drunken great parties
* She always had gorgeous Christmas trees sometimes 12 feet tall with tinsel and ornaments that she has collected for years. She always had special Santa and holiday displays on our library table at Christmas time.
* She always used the RED “You Are Special Today” plate for our birthday celebrations
* She never thought you should go out for a special occasion without lipstick
* She loved beer and port wine
* She had the most gorgeous almost wrinkle free skin
* She had a special twinkle in her turquoise pool blue eyes that I will never forget
* She loved her grandchildren dearly and her role in their lives as their ITA
* She loved her flower garden and getting her hands dirty
* She was never afraid to roll up her sleeves and get it done – whatever the project
* She always gave people a chance
* She was a teacher to many
* She liked to be understated and never showy
* She liked everything small -- small rooms, small car, small cross necklace she wore, everything small -- like she was
* She was happiest at our Sunday night dinners when we were all together
* She always found the positive in life and tried to ‘make lemonade out of lemons’
* She always taught me ‘inch by inch, life’s a synch, yard by yard, life is hard’
* She loved it when she married Jim and didn’t have to cook anymore
* She loved seeing her children grow up and marry and then have children
* She loved the Messiah at Christmas time
* She loved being involved in her Church and singing in the choir; and she loved the peace it brought to her
* She loved her walks with Jim down the paths of Old Town by the water
* She accepted people for who they were and tried to find the good in everyone
* She loved the saying, “Because Nice Matters”
* She had a love and zest for life that was unforgettable
* She never complained
* She had a special dignity and grace with which she did things
* And finally, my Mom’s devotion to my brother and I was truly extraordinary. We always absolutely, unequivocally came first. She always put our needs ahead of her own.

Mom loved this poem and asked me to share it with those she knew and loved.

Time is Too Slow for those who wait; Too swift for those that fear; Too long for those that grieve; Too short for those that rejoice; But for those that love, time is eternity.

--Henry Van Dyke

This is a story about rubber bands.
When my Grandpa wanted to remember anything, he always put a rubber band around his wrist, then switched it back and forth depending on when he had something new to remember. When my Mom was a teacher, she always needed rubber bands on her wrist so she continued to wear them long after she stopped teaching. My brother has also worn rubber bands on his wrist for years as he always finds he has a need for them. A few days prior to my Mom’s service, my daughter Eden (21 months) was in the kitchen looking toward the back door as if she was looking at someone. I went in and she had a thick rubber band around her wrist. We don’t have those types of rubber bands around the house and she has never seen us with rubber bands on her wrist. I believe this was my Mom’s way of showing she was around and to know she was there and still with us.

I want to thank all the people who have been there for my Mom these past 2 years. All the family and friends who spent time with her, encouraged her, sent cards and notes and flowers and cleaned litter boxes, helped in Unique, who left messages and emails, and so much more.

It is hard for me to believe she’s gone physically, my primary influence, friend, supporter and wisest counselor has left me physically. My Mom was such an active participant in this world. I am so grateful to have been with her in her last hours. People choose who are with them when they pass. This was my Mothers greatest and final gift to me, to be with her when she passed into her new and everlasting life. My Mom had an enormous heart filled with passion, compassion, and empathy. It’s not surprising that in the end, her heart was still beating when her body had shut down, because it was her heart that drove her every act throughout her life.

Helen Keller said, “The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart” IF, by the end of her life, my mother ended up touching all of your hearts -- then I ask you, what else can anyone ask for in this world, but to touch people’s hearts.

I’d like to leave you with a Cherokee expression that says,
When you were born, you cried and the world rejoiced. Live your life so that when you die, the world cries and you rejoice.

A New Angel in Heaven...

This morning at 4:28 am Mom passed away peacefully while I was holding her hand and stroking her head. She gave me the greatest gift that she could have and let me be there with her when she crossed the rainbow bridge to the other side. She is free of pain and suffering and at peace. She waited so long because she did not want to leave us -- I am sure of it.
Heaven is a better place now.

There will be a memorial service at her church, AMC, in the coming weeks. You can check here for more details at a later date.

Thanks to all of you for your unending support, love, and caring. She loved each of you in her own special way.

6:30 pm Update

Mom is still with us but not doing well at all. She has all the signs her body is failing. I won't go into it but I will say she is comfortable.

I am wondering what she is waiting for? From everything I have read people leave when they are ready, on their own time. We've all told her we will be okay and that she can go. Honestly, I think the reason she is still here is that she doesn't want to leave her family.

That's all for now.... I am headed back to Hospice after I get Eden to bed.

Thank you to everyone who wished Mom a Happy Birthday!

Mom's Special Day...

11:56 pm
Thank you to everyone who sent good wishes via email, mail, family, and more. I just left and Mom is still with us but she had a very rough day. We almost lost her this afternoon but I think there were too many people there and she wants to be alone. There was so much commotion and I felt like she wanted peace and it was not peaceful.

I left her tonight and told her the angels were calling her. I know it was the right thing to do not to stay with her. Some people want to just be alone and I feel this is what she wants.

I am tired and sad. I am hopeful for Mom's sake she will go home... it is her time I think. But she will decide when.

Hope & Mom's Birthday

I still have hope. I hope Mom will not be suffering. I hope our family will be okay after Mom passes. I hope I will be able to survive without her. I hope we all get along. I hope about a lot every day.

Mom's (Ethel's) life is in her hands now on her terms. Tomorrow, Saturday, November 29th, is Mom's 72nd Birthday. She made it. We never dreamed she would. She surprised us all but is that really that surprising knowing my Mom?

Now it is her turn to decide when she is ready to leave. I keep looking for a sign, something in her eyes, a feeling, a look, anything, so that I will know when. That is not my decision to make as it is something she has total control over. She will be with whoever she chooses when she does decide it is her time to cross over. She has had so little control over her disease, her pain, and so much more and finally -- she can choose. She chose how she lived and now she must choose how she will leave us.

The major lesson for the living to learn from people facing the end of life is how growth can come through loss. Those who open up to these crises have much to teach.
People living with a life-threatening illness can encourage others to recognize their own priorities; to care about how they relate to others; to use time wisely; to say the simple words of apology and thanks and goodbye; to be honest about anger, protest, and negative feelings; and to recognize the releasing and positive elements of these feelings. Relationships may be healed, anger and resentments laid aside, and sources of meaning discovered together with a new sense of self. Those who are dying can teach others to hold on to hope and to cherish relaxation and creativity.

Wish Mom a happy birthday tomorrow whether in spirit or by emailing me at whippetdogs@yahoo.com and I will print out all the messages to her and read them.